20/03/07

*it starts to snow - as seen out our maths class window*
"It's snowing!" - Matt
*Sedgy starts singing*
"I'm dreaming of a white birthday... just like the ones I used to know?" - Sedgie

Hello

19/03/07

"I like these formulas best of all" - Mills
Ah, maths teachers

"Move, you bloody peroxide princess" - Ellis , to Scott
Scott had been holding the door shut with his foot - or attempting to anyway.

"Are you sure you're not a lesbian?" - Dan
"I'm not a lesbian" - Nat
"How about now?" - Dan

Mmm.. abuse

13/03/07
"Yes, it would by child cruelty but it would be worth it" - Kate
Ahh, even the teachers are violent :P

"If I was going to go to prison I might as well go the whole way and actually kill someone!" - Kate
Isn't this inspirational and moral 'advice' to pass on to your students! lol

*Rian holds up a mini whiteboard with the words "I'm with stupid" and a line (which Jacqueline points out is actually pointing towards him - so he readjusts it to point to Beki - who points it back at him)*
"'I'm with'? Should that be 'I am'? ... sorry, couldn't help it" - Greg
"Don't worry, I've got plenty on you mate" - Rian

"I miss people sometimes but my aim is improving"

12/03/07
"Can you tell me what to put there, Dopey?" - Mills
"Umm... some numbers" - Sedgie, aka Dopey
Ahh maths... we are such an intelligent lot :P

"Please, just give me a sine!" - Greg in Maths
NB: May have been inspired by a comment from another class member...

07/03/07
"Master files are normally sequential, unless they are otherwise" - Jayne

"Education is a series of lies to children" - Carol
She thinks that she got this quote from somewhere but doesn't remember where.

This week sometime?

Note: If anyone happens to have a spare small notebook and wants me to continue taking more quotes then you can donate one as I generally just try to remember them and then forget them, lol.

02/03/07 (I think)
"I don't actually remember ever having a time in my life when I thought my penis had been chopped off" - Rai
Talking about Freud's theories of girls having 'penis envy' and fear of having been castrated... Yeah, psychology is weird.

"Are you doing a rabbit impression?" - Natalie to Stewart in History
I don't actually recall what he was really doing...

"It wouldn't be legal to kill Viraaj .. Enjoyable as that would be" - Kate
Explaining what 'legal feasibility' meant.

Earlier quotes I hadn't put in yet:

23/02/07
"The college paints are crap" - Aimee
"Did you just say you're taking crack?" - Dan

"Jodie, what are you doing?" - Dan
"I'm feeding the grass" - Jodie

A quote I was told about on 23/02/07 but probably happened on a previous date:

*Jodie asks for flirting tips*
"Just think of him as a woman" - Tanysha
"Right, so Jodie's a lesbian" - Dan
...
"You should rub him, like in a joking way" - Dan
"That's a rubbish idea" - Jodie
"It's better than being a lesbian!" - Dan

Ages ago..

19/01/07
*Waiting on the street corner for Alice*
"Natasha, what are you doing?" - Joe
"Waiting for customers" - Tash
Lol, her mum told her she looked like a hooker that morning...

Miscellaneous Quotes

Thanks to http://goodquotes.com/ for most of these.

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...."

"Treat everyone the same, until you find out they're an idiot"

"You laugh at me because I'm strange, I laugh at you because you're stupid!"

"Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey"

"No matter what you do there will always be critics"

"Sinning wouldn't be so popular if it's wages were paid immediately"

"Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families"

"You only live once, but if you live it right, once is enough"

"If you do it you'll regret it, if you don't do it you'll regret it, either way you're going to regret it so you might as well do it"

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly" - Robert F. Kennedy

"Money can't buy happiness... But it sure makes misery easier to live with..."

"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."

"Practice safe eating — always use condiments."

"One of life's mysteries is how a 1kg box of candy can make a woman gain 2kg."

"To love someone is to see him as God intended him" - Fydor Dostoyevsky

"Love is like a war, easy to begin, hard to end"

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down to us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Winston Churchill

"Remember when American moms used to tell their kids to finish dinner because children were starving in Africa? Well, thanks a lot Mom - Africans are still starving and American kids are obese" — Larry Baum.

"Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards ??"

"A closed mouth gathers no feet."

"I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got !"

"If I could lie, I would be in marketing."

"I think you should profit from the mistakes of others. You don't live long enough to make them all yourself."

"Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss's job."

"When the going gets tough, everyone leaves."

"You sound reasonable... Time to up my medication"

"Who me? I just wander from room to room"

"At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits"

"A mind is a terrible thing to waste, that's why I save it for special occasions"

"You're so open-minded, your brains fell out"

"Trust your first impressions, it seems that thinking only confuses you"

"Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?"

"Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film"

"There is only one thing that can keep growing without nourishment: The human ego"

Hazel favourites...

"Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself."

"If you don't like my driving stay off the sidewalk"

"I have the answer in my head, I just haven't found it yet"

"Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it..."

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." - Bilbo Baggins (The Fellowship of the Ring: J.R.R. Tolkien)

"I stopped to think and forgot to start again"

"If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one."

"You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them."

"It's important to watch what you eat. Otherwise, how are you going to get it into your mouth ?" — Matt Diamond.

"Being pessimistic makes you a less hopeful person, but almost always a correct one" - Andy Bodine

"Two Rules For Success: 1) Never tell people everything you know."

"I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid"

"I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me"

"Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject"

"My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely"

"Never argue with idiots. They just drag you down to their level and then beat you with their experience"

"I used to have a handle on life, then it broke"

"Been there, done that, stole the t-shirt"

"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it"

In NZ

09/02/07
"Apart we're annoying, together we're reeeeally annoying" - Hazel, referring to Dillon
"True" - Carol
Isn't it good that we live in different countries then?

"Yeah, you stand up for your.. girly manhood" - Pei Yuin, to Dillon

31/01/07
"You've got a moustache on your tummy" - Samantha (to Alex)

"Yeah, eventually I'll get me one of those wife-things" - Alex

02/02/07
"I was wrong, it's not sadness, it's mischief, if there was a book called 'mischievous' I would have given it to you" - David

"Nah, she'd like, take it home and use it for something" - Mark
Talking about what grandma would do with the urn.

Random quote just recieved from Daniel:
"Look, that man's dancing, he's moving his feet" - Nicolle
"That's called walking" - Dan

Yay! More quotations are good.

Random un-dated quotes:
"I haven't got both marks" - Paula
"It's 'cause you're a fool" - Michael
*Paula gives him the finger*

"Yes Mr Eye-contact" - Kate to Viraaj

"If I have your attention I would appreciate it because I'd like you more" - Kate

17/01/07
Talking about History stuff- basically Stewart not conforming to Nazi ways at the time.
"What would he fall into" - Natalie
"Asocial" - David
"Prostitute, homosexual..." - Viraaj

"What if I said I had a criminal record for violent crime" - Natalie
"Wouldn't be a surprise" - David
*Insert random 'oooh's and comments*

Random quote which Dan talked about, don't know who said this but I think it may have been to a male: "If we were in Iraq, you would be my wife"

09/01/07
"Mr concentration span of a flea... not looking at anyone in particular as it applies to several of you" - Kate

"So remember that in your exam, don't do a Sophie" - Paula

05/01/07
"You had to be there." - Dan
"I was there!" - Hazel

"These aren't made for people like me!" - Jodie
"Retards?" - Dan and Clarky in unison

"Who should have pet Bambis?" - Hazel
"Everyone!" - Chelsea
Not sure why we were talking like this... I think we were actually talking about something to do with Barbies... I think it was because of prawns on a barbie or something :S

NB: Quote given to me by Chelsea: "Have you ever tried to get jelly out of a sleeping bag?" - Kimberly

"I walk into doors without noticing" - Chelsea
"I think you'd notice" - Hazel
She meant 'without meaning to'

"I put my door to my ear" - Chelsea

"It's his birthday, Clarky deserves to be ran after" - Dan

"Clarky deserves to be ran after" - Dan
"Ran over?" - Hazel
Dan thought this part deserved it's own quoty bit.

15/12/06
"Listen, there's no Star Wars, no Godfather and no Bambi!" - Natalie
The boys were suggesting many different ideas for films to watch - the actual ones we were supposed to be watching were History videos, lol.
NB: Robert Carlyle makes a brilliant Hitler in "Hitler: The Rise of Evil".

13/12/06
"I eat my pens"
...
"Well, not eat them, but chew them" - Matt
How many people do you know who eat pens? Mmm... Pen swallowing...

"Could you at least cough in an Australian accent?" - Paula
Paula was having an Australian accent day, she has them occasionally, she does have a fantastic talent for an Australian accent I must say, she was making us all answer the register with "G'day" and I think it was Kiera who coughed at her name...

"Yeah, I don't believe in luck, I believe that you have to make your own luck" - Stewart/Steven (Both commenting)
"If there was no such thing as luck then how would you make it?" - Natalie

11/12/06
"All the chinese girls did well, all the chinese boys badly" - Mills
"Maybe I'm a chinese girl" - Sedgie

Umm... yeah : )

08/12/06
"Don't walk sexily" - Alex, in tutorial
We were talking about personal safety, and what advice you would give to a female friend who thought she was being followed home from college by an unknown man. Another answer - given by Ellis - was 'Stab him' but somehow I think this could cause trouble, lol.

-After Rai talked about her traumatic start to school (her mum leaving)-
"But I didn't grow up emotionally disturbed or anything" - Rai
*Paula snorts*
Gotta love teachers like that...

06/12/06
"Aah! I swear that bush wasn't there a minute ago" - Tash

"You know when you lift up your jacket and you realise you've also lifted up your skirt?" - Holly
"I do that!" - Dan
"What, when you're wearing a skirt?" - Holly
"Yeah, all the time" - Dan

"I'll be laughing on... the side of your face when they do" - Dan
I'm not quite sure what he was he was getting at here...

"Your writing's getting smaller and smaller, you really are going to turn into a girl" - Mills to Sedgy

"Who wants it Thursday?" - Mills
"Who wants it?" - Beki
Talking about the qualifying exam

"How many siblings?" - Paula
"5 and a half" - Hannah
She meant a half brother, not half a sibling...

05/12/06
"If I can have your attention I would appreciate it because I'd like you more" - Kate

Surprise! More quotes...

29/11/06
"Here you go, the muffin comes with homework" - Mike
Mike came into the lesson and gave Jayne a muffin... for some strange reason - she was a bit wary of it (with good cause really, knowing the guys in my class) and in the end gave it to Matt for good work. Plus - on Mike's student comment it said 'I liked this homework it was fun' with a heart at the end, Steven added xx on the end of it, lol.

"I saw cockburn in my garden" - Steven
Still going on about the whole cockburn thing... (They convinced Jayne it was a bird...)

"Where's David?" - Jayne
"Go find him" - Mike

"Jayne, get rid of the spider, it's huge and scary!" - Mike
*Cue the boys running around like prats and making a big issue out of it*

28/11/06
"What do you need to bring to your next lesson?" - Kate, to Mike
"A brain?" - Robert

23/11/06
"I saw your phone down there, I can see things down there!" - Jayne
Viraaj was holding his phone under the table...

Random insert: Last week sometime we were in History, Matt was bored and drew a halo on Hitler, then when we commented on it he turned it into a hat which Faye thought looked like a saucepan. So Hitler is now known for his saucepan hat.

22/11/06
"Let's do flapjacks!" - Rai
She meant star jumps...

"I'll do it with you... well, not IT" - Dan

20/11/06
"It's national 'bring in the wrong folder day" - Sedgie

15/11/06
"Your hatred makes me love you more" - Dan
"My hatred makes me hate you more" - Rai
"Oh, I love you. Let's get married" - Dan
"Sorry, I only go for straight guys" - Rai
"I could be!" - Dan

14/11/06
"What do you mean?" - Maxwell
"Yes" - Kate

mm.... quotes

Today - 13/11/06
"Why don't I just kill myself, I'll do a Hitler" - Chloe

"Who feels like a chopped tomato?" - Mills
... After naming a can of chopped tomatos after Graham
"I've always thought he looked like a chopped tomato" - Mills

"I'm sane, me; woof" - Matt

"Now, someone's going to ask the horrible, stupid question" - Mills
"Matt?" - Graham
"Can we go home now?" - Matt
Generally the 'horrible, stupid questions' are of course questions from our inferior knowledge of Maths

01/11/06
"I've been replaced!" - Rai
*Dan starts to move towards her*
"That doesn't mean I want you back!" - Rai
After Dan attached himself to Rai and previously Faye, (Hugged them round the neck and didn't let go...)

Quotalicious

20/10/06
"We're in a whore-shaped shoe" - Dan
Artistic license... he actually said 'horse-shaped shoe' but I thought he said 'whore-shaped shoe' and what he actually meant was 'horse-shoe shape'

"What's my-" - Alice
"Extra boobs" - Tash
Don't really remember what this was about... apart from the fact that it was about the gel bras that Alice and Tash bought (And waved around whilst walking down the high street)

"Hazel, stop doing that" - Dan
Ok, don't remember why this was amusing really, Dan told me to write it down so I did

"Everytime we touch, it's friction" - Hazel, to Dan
Yeah... I was really static that day

"If my boyfriend was thinner than me, he'd have a problem, it's called anorexia" - Dan
Dan of course is at the sort of 'skinniest you can get whilst still eating'

"See! I should be a fashion designer and you should be a whore!" - Dan, to Hazel
Don't ask

"I finally got out of my closet and now they tell me to get back in" - Dan

"My nails match my outfit" - Dan
His nails were black, but due to dirt rather than nail polish...

"Make note, he went that way!" - Dan
Random guy we saw...

Thur 19/10/06
"I'm turning 17 next year! Me, 17! That's disgusting!" - Fahima
Well, it is kinda hard to think of Fahima as 17...

Wed 18/10/06
"I'm a ribbon" - Dan

"Let's cross" - Hazel
"I doubt it" - Dan

Tues 17/10/06
"I'm not a nasty pizza" - Fahima
She meant 'nasty person'

Quotes I forgot to add from way back on the 20/09/06
"I want to live above Cafe Nero so I can sneak in at night" - Jodie
"Don't you think you'd be a suspect?" - Dan
"No; just because I have a hole in my floor doesn't mean I go directly in" - Jodie

"I've got used to all that now" - Dan (talking about people trying to trip him up)
"Used to what?" - Jodie
*Dan pulls her hair*
"Aaah!" - Jodie
"Obviously you haven't" - Dan

"Ahh, foetus" - Dan

25/09/06
"I need to e-mail Megan" - Hazel
"You need to eat your leg?!" - Dan
Deaf that boy...

From e-mails sent to me...

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday" - Noelle, aged 7

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out"

"If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them; I'd be at the bottom to catch them."

"Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words"

Tuesday 17th October
"People called Olly are retards. It's a fact of life." - Dan

"I can't kiss him without laughing" - Alice, about Dan

"Get up, gravity is not on my side" - Alice (trying to get up after lying on Dan and Dan trying to trip her up)

"You broke her leg!" - Jodie
"Don't exaggerate. We broke Clarky's leg" - Dan
"Yep, that's right" - Clarky

"... see?! Isn't that stalking. But I'm not spreading it. I'm not telling anyone! I mean, I just told you, but that was... explaining the situation!" - Jodie
Emma had been apparently saying that Jodie was spreading rumors about her [Emma] stalking someone

"I tell lies, that's part of the fun of my job" - Kate (Computing Teacher)

Wednesday 18th October (Today)
"I'm a happy flap" - Dan

"I'm an atheist, let me pray" - Dan, thinking of oxymorons (He's actually agnostic)

*There was another quote - need to ask Dan, I think he wrote it somewhere...

Desperate Housewives
"Please, you're dating my wife, call me Rex" - Rex, to George
Just starting to vaguely get into Desperate Housewives under the Dan influence...

People...

10/10/06
"I'm not laughing, I'm smiling at your ignorance" - Dan, to Ben
Hehe, pure brilliance, Dan commented later that day that it was something I would say.
Lol, he's so right.

"Is Freud dead, Miss?" - Yassir
"Yes" - Paula
"That's good" - Yassir
Kinda amusing, not saying I particularly agree, but then I don't necessarily disagree either...

"Maybe he sniffed too much; you decide" - Paula, about Freud

16/10/06
"Goodbye, we're going to go have some queer sex" - Alice
"Oh yes" - Dan

Msn Names

"NEWSFLASH!: There is no newsflash" - Off Dan's msn thingy

Previous MSN names I've had:

"It’s not PMS, it’s you"
"Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand"
"I don’t know what your problem is but I bet it’s hard to pronounce"
"Just because you can. Doesn’t mean you should."
"The truth shall make ye fret" - Terry Pratchett, 'The Times'
"Faith sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible"
"Lack of evidence is a sure sign of conspiracy"
"Wisdom comes with age but sometimes age comes alone"
"Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional"
"My submarine sunk!"
"Cynics are right, nine times out of ten."

Why men don't listen and women can't read maps

Reading a fantastic book - "Why men don't listen and women can't read maps" by Allan and Barbara Pease. I recommend it to anyone and everyone as it is really quite funny and also quite realistic. Since I'm doing Psychology I can pick out the different parts from different approaches to behaviour, personality and temperament, the main one this book focuses on is the Biological approach - basically saying that a lot of behaviour and personality comes from the genes. It's saying how women have bigger more allocated areas for speech which is why they often speak from an earlier age and talk so much, lol. It's really good.
I realised that a lot of it relates to stuff that's happened to me and I can totally relate it to people I know and to myself. I mean, some parts are of course different, we can't all be the 'typical' people of our gender.
An example of something that I related to other people I know is this quote:
"Because vocabulary is not a hotspot in a woman's brain, she can feel that the precise definition of words is irrelevant. She'll then take poetic licence with words, or won't shy away from exaggeration simply for effect. Men, however, interpret every word she says as if it is true and respond accordingly"
This reminded me of yesterday when Jodie said: "Seriously! Tom can't even read!" and Matt replied "Really? How'd he go to school?" In reality, Tom is actually not that terrible in his literacy skills compared to others of his age (16-ish) and obviously can read.

I find it rather amusing, especially the bits about how you have to speak simply, clearly and only on one topic

"Well... Practical with me... I won't be doing practical, except the parts of the course when I am doing practical" - Jayne

"It'll take me a couple of weeks to learn everyones names" - Jess B (PT - Male)
"Except Alex" - Student (not sure which one...)
"Yes, except Alex" - Jess
"Why's it always me?" - Alex
"Because you have big mouth" - Jess
*Alex looks thoughtful for a sec and then nods a bit*
Well, really you had to be there for it to be amusing but yeah.

“Ee-an?” - Jayne (Computing Teacher)
“Yigh-an” - Ieuan
“You-a-in” - Jayne
“Yigh-an” - Ieuan
“You-a-in” - Jayne
“Yigh-an” - Ieuan
“Can I just call you Ian?” - Jayne
“No” - Ieuan
Starting off with the register and ending in a bit of a pronunciation debate

The genders...

"A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and a woman’s gotta do what he can’t" - Anon

"It's obvious that women are smarter than me. Think about it - diamonds are a girls best friend; man's best friend is a dog" - Joan Rivers

Gender joke:

A store employee is giving a tour of the new biological store supplying living organs. They go into the brain room. The guide says "So here we are in the brain room, as you can guess, this room contains brains. The male brains are priced quite well at the moment at £3500, the female brains are £2500" The men look smug and one of them says "So, why are the male brains more expensive than the female brains" and the employee replies "The female brains are used"
Hehe, I like this one...

Hitchhiker's guide mainly

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, you don't need to tell me who's the biggest fool of us all" - I think it's from a song - was on Tannya's msn name

Hitchhiker's Guide (film):

"Freeze!" - Zaphod
"Freeze? I'm a robot, not a refridgerator" - Marvin

"We have normality" - Trillian
"Normality? Right, we can talk about normality til the cows come home" - Arthur
*looking forlorn*"What is normal?" - Ford
*looking dejected*"What's home?" - Trillian
"What are cows?" - Zaphod

"Terrible events are afoot... uh, you must come, or yo- or you'll be late" - Slartibartfast
"Late, what for?" - Arthur
"What? no, no... what's your name, earthman?" - Slartibartfast
"Dent, Arthur Dent" - Arthur
"Well, late as in 'the late DentArthur Dent' *arthur looks puzzled*. It's a sort of.. threat, do you see?" - Slartibartfast (Who never really was that good at threats)