Miscellaneous Quotes

Thanks to http://goodquotes.com/ for most of these.

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...."

"Treat everyone the same, until you find out they're an idiot"

"You laugh at me because I'm strange, I laugh at you because you're stupid!"

"Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey"

"No matter what you do there will always be critics"

"Sinning wouldn't be so popular if it's wages were paid immediately"

"Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families"

"You only live once, but if you live it right, once is enough"

"If you do it you'll regret it, if you don't do it you'll regret it, either way you're going to regret it so you might as well do it"

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly" - Robert F. Kennedy

"Money can't buy happiness... But it sure makes misery easier to live with..."

"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."

"Practice safe eating — always use condiments."

"One of life's mysteries is how a 1kg box of candy can make a woman gain 2kg."

"To love someone is to see him as God intended him" - Fydor Dostoyevsky

"Love is like a war, easy to begin, hard to end"

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down to us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Winston Churchill

"Remember when American moms used to tell their kids to finish dinner because children were starving in Africa? Well, thanks a lot Mom - Africans are still starving and American kids are obese" — Larry Baum.

"Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards ??"

"A closed mouth gathers no feet."

"I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got !"

"If I could lie, I would be in marketing."

"I think you should profit from the mistakes of others. You don't live long enough to make them all yourself."

"Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss's job."

"When the going gets tough, everyone leaves."

"You sound reasonable... Time to up my medication"

"Who me? I just wander from room to room"

"At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits"

"A mind is a terrible thing to waste, that's why I save it for special occasions"

"You're so open-minded, your brains fell out"

"Trust your first impressions, it seems that thinking only confuses you"

"Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?"

"Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film"

"There is only one thing that can keep growing without nourishment: The human ego"

Hazel favourites...

"Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself."

"If you don't like my driving stay off the sidewalk"

"I have the answer in my head, I just haven't found it yet"

"Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it..."

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." - Bilbo Baggins (The Fellowship of the Ring: J.R.R. Tolkien)

"I stopped to think and forgot to start again"

"If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one."

"You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them."

"It's important to watch what you eat. Otherwise, how are you going to get it into your mouth ?" — Matt Diamond.

"Being pessimistic makes you a less hopeful person, but almost always a correct one" - Andy Bodine

"Two Rules For Success: 1) Never tell people everything you know."

"I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid"

"I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me"

"Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject"

"My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely"

"Never argue with idiots. They just drag you down to their level and then beat you with their experience"

"I used to have a handle on life, then it broke"

"Been there, done that, stole the t-shirt"

"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it"

In NZ

09/02/07
"Apart we're annoying, together we're reeeeally annoying" - Hazel, referring to Dillon
"True" - Carol
Isn't it good that we live in different countries then?

"Yeah, you stand up for your.. girly manhood" - Pei Yuin, to Dillon

31/01/07
"You've got a moustache on your tummy" - Samantha (to Alex)

"Yeah, eventually I'll get me one of those wife-things" - Alex

02/02/07
"I was wrong, it's not sadness, it's mischief, if there was a book called 'mischievous' I would have given it to you" - David

"Nah, she'd like, take it home and use it for something" - Mark
Talking about what grandma would do with the urn.

Random quote just recieved from Daniel:
"Look, that man's dancing, he's moving his feet" - Nicolle
"That's called walking" - Dan