"With Tony Blair it really was like trying to nail jelly to the wall. In contrast, with Gordon Brown, the jelly's already stuck to the wall. It is just a question of taking aim at it." - Former Tory leader William Hague on the relative parliamentary skills of the prime minister and his predecessor
"They leave me alone now. I'm too bleeding old. They are frightened I'll drop dead." - Sir Michael Caine, 74, on the paparazzi
"I'm just a simple president, but I think God created the earth, created the world. I think the creation of the world is so mysterious it requires something as large as an almighty and I don't think it's incompatible with the scientific proof that there is evolution. I happen to believe that evolution doesn't fully explain the mystery of life." - George W Bush delivers his views on the science versus religion debate
"I am no longer at risk of being called a bloody nuisance. I am a bloody nuisance." - The Prince of Wales on his alleged politicisation
"I got a death threat the other day. I haven't had one for years and was so chuffed somebody thought I was still dangerous." - Former Labour MP Tony Benn
"It is, I fear, impossible to imitate, as it is a product of random and competing forces of nature." - London Mayor, Boris Johnson, on receiving the award for Best Celebrity Hair of 2008
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Old quotes
Am clearing out/organising all my files on my computer and have just found a word document with quotes in it, so I thought I'd put them on now, not sure when they were from. Probably this year... *shrug*
“Please don’t talk to my son; he finds it hard to distinguish you from reality” – Philip (Benny's dad)
Don't remember who he was talking to but it's amusing nonetheless
*Plane flies overhead*
“What’s that? Is it my UFO coming home?” – Benny
“I wouldn’t be surprised” - Phillip
“Have I told you the joke about the high wall? I’d better not, you’d never get over it” – Benny
Oh dear, it's like a Christmas cracker joke...
“Please don’t talk to my son; he finds it hard to distinguish you from reality” – Philip (Benny's dad)
Don't remember who he was talking to but it's amusing nonetheless
*Plane flies overhead*
“What’s that? Is it my UFO coming home?” – Benny
“I wouldn’t be surprised” - Phillip
“Have I told you the joke about the high wall? I’d better not, you’d never get over it” – Benny
Oh dear, it's like a Christmas cracker joke...
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
National Treasure 2
A couple of random ones...
"Bring all your horses, and your sister too" - Mr Bertram, Mansfield Park
"So the idea is to find x1 and y1 using... yes" - Mills
Now, National Treasure 2 quotes... [By the way, it's a great film, go see it]
"Women, can't live with them, especially if they change the alarm codes" - Riley, whilst decoding the alarm
"You did that in 25 seconds" - Ben
"That's why I tell people to get a dog" - Riley
"How'd you get in, Ben? ... Riley, come out here" - Abigail
*Ben pleading for Abigail to let him examine the document - Abigail is walking away*
"Please, Abigail, one look under infra-red... you can have the boston tea tables" - Ben
*Abigail smiles then turns around with a stern look on her face*
"Both of them?" - Abigail
*Switches to them examining the page*
*In Buckingham Palace*
"You're the one who's making a scene right now" - Ben
"I'm not making a scene" - Abigail
*in Ben's earpiece* "No, we want to make a scene" - Riley
"WELL THEN FINE! IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT THEN LET'S HAVE IT OUT RIGHT NOW!" - Ben
*in earpiece* "Ah, so subtle" - Riley
"What is going on?" - Abigail
"I'm sorry for getting you roped into this but you were excellent back there" - Ben
"Oh, thank you, so were you *smiles*" - Abigail
"When did you figure out it was a fake argument?" - Ben
"When did you figure out I was actually arguing during the fake argument?" - Abigail
"Right in the middle there, the part where 'I always assume that I'm right'" - Ben
*Abigail nods*
*talking into his hidden mike* "Riley get us out of here" - Ben
"Which I don't get, 'cause if I turn out to be right after I assume that I'm right then I'm correct, yes?" - Ben
"When you get to a conclusion without asking and you happen to be right, you got lucky" - Abigail
*nods* "I get lucky a lot" - Ben
"Just because you may know what my answer is going to be doesn't mean you don't have to ask me" - Abigail
*In the dumbwaiter - Ben holding a bouquet of flowers - for show when they get upstairs*
*Ben sniffs* "You're wearing the perfume I bought you" - Ben
"So?" - Abigail
"I think it smells kind of pretty" - Ben
"It's the flowers" - Abigail
*in a sing-song voice* "No it's not *flutters eyelashes*" - Ben
*Abigail shakes her head with a slight smile*
Ah yes, I couldn't be bothered to type it all out as you really have to see the scene, but I love the part when Ben's parents see each other for the first time in 32 years and argue about a trip they took and a travel case not being packed.
"I kidnapped the president, the FBI is on their way here right now and I'm sure they'll love to meet you too. They'll find us both and arrest us both and that path doesn't lead to the city of gold does it?" - Ben, talking to Mitch
...
"Which president? The President?" - Emily (Ben's mum) talking to Patrick (Ben's dad)
"I thought it best not to tell you" - Patrick
"Bring all your horses, and your sister too" - Mr Bertram, Mansfield Park
"So the idea is to find x1 and y1 using... yes" - Mills
Now, National Treasure 2 quotes... [By the way, it's a great film, go see it]
"Women, can't live with them, especially if they change the alarm codes" - Riley, whilst decoding the alarm
"You did that in 25 seconds" - Ben
"That's why I tell people to get a dog" - Riley
"How'd you get in, Ben? ... Riley, come out here" - Abigail
*Ben pleading for Abigail to let him examine the document - Abigail is walking away*
"Please, Abigail, one look under infra-red... you can have the boston tea tables" - Ben
*Abigail smiles then turns around with a stern look on her face*
"Both of them?" - Abigail
*Switches to them examining the page*
*In Buckingham Palace*
"You're the one who's making a scene right now" - Ben
"I'm not making a scene" - Abigail
*in Ben's earpiece* "No, we want to make a scene" - Riley
"WELL THEN FINE! IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT THEN LET'S HAVE IT OUT RIGHT NOW!" - Ben
*in earpiece* "Ah, so subtle" - Riley
"What is going on?" - Abigail
"I'm sorry for getting you roped into this but you were excellent back there" - Ben
"Oh, thank you, so were you *smiles*" - Abigail
"When did you figure out it was a fake argument?" - Ben
"When did you figure out I was actually arguing during the fake argument?" - Abigail
"Right in the middle there, the part where 'I always assume that I'm right'" - Ben
*Abigail nods*
*talking into his hidden mike* "Riley get us out of here" - Ben
"Which I don't get, 'cause if I turn out to be right after I assume that I'm right then I'm correct, yes?" - Ben
"When you get to a conclusion without asking and you happen to be right, you got lucky" - Abigail
*nods* "I get lucky a lot" - Ben
"Just because you may know what my answer is going to be doesn't mean you don't have to ask me" - Abigail
*In the dumbwaiter - Ben holding a bouquet of flowers - for show when they get upstairs*
*Ben sniffs* "You're wearing the perfume I bought you" - Ben
"So?" - Abigail
"I think it smells kind of pretty" - Ben
"It's the flowers" - Abigail
*in a sing-song voice* "No it's not *flutters eyelashes*" - Ben
*Abigail shakes her head with a slight smile*
Ah yes, I couldn't be bothered to type it all out as you really have to see the scene, but I love the part when Ben's parents see each other for the first time in 32 years and argue about a trip they took and a travel case not being packed.
"I kidnapped the president, the FBI is on their way here right now and I'm sure they'll love to meet you too. They'll find us both and arrest us both and that path doesn't lead to the city of gold does it?" - Ben, talking to Mitch
...
"Which president? The President?" - Emily (Ben's mum) talking to Patrick (Ben's dad)
"I thought it best not to tell you" - Patrick
Saturday, August 02, 2008
New Wine 2008
At a comedy gig - the venue host said to a guy in the front who he was having a jokey debate with:
"Some things in life go without saying, can you be one of those things?"
"If war breaks out I will trust the Lord" - On a guy's t-shirt (It's a verse from Psalms but not sure which)
After Viv got soaked in the rain before a seminar we were talking about pnemonia, and she told me about how her mum got pnemonia after being baptised...
"Welcome to eternal life, if you can make it through this one!" - Viv
"Never say Christianity's easy" - Viv
Lol.
"Don't hide behind Times New Roman" - On a rather cool 'Dialogue' t-shirt
See it here
Rather amusing trainee vicar - Paul from Bristol - did one of the evening talks, was v. good (as were all of them actually)... anyway, a couple of quotes from him:
"Go up north, have some naan bread" - Paul
Apparently the naan bread up north is huge and is lovely with curry
"Mark 1, 21 to 28; It'll be on the screen in case you lost your bible at the kebab van" - Paul
"You gotta love the bible, it does make me laugh sometimes" - Paul
... [Talking about the people following Jesus forgetting to eat - feeding of the 4000]
"3 days! I mean, I don't forget to eat in 3 hours let alone 3 days!" - Paul
"Akatharton Pneumaton"
Means 'unclean spirit' - Paul was very proud of having learnt this word so he told it to us and used it many times in his talk :P
"I don't know what you've come here for, I mean you could be coming to praise God or you could be coming to try and get a girlfriend or boyfriend. I mean some of you guys look like 'Yeah Paul, well, we've only got 2 hours left so if you could be quick' [us lot laughing]. But you know, the best girlfriend or boyfriend will be the one standing at the front, arms in the air, praising God, not the one you've seen sitting on everyone's laps down at the food court [more laughing/clapping/'whoo'ing]. So if you see someone who's praising God, going to seminars, writing notes, reading their bible, and all that; try and pull that person." - Paul
Won't be word for word but quite a lot is direct quotes I think (I tried) and the fill in bits are the right gist.
Note about this section - the talk - I did actually take more spiritual content in, lol, I just chose to put these up here as they amused me.
Kev from 29th chapter did a quick bit at the beginning of a talk - he was talking about love and how it's easy to love people of our own status, and the 'lovable' but what about others? Just a couple of bits he said - you'll get the gist.
"Let us be cosy - touch each other"
"It's nice, very nice"
"LOVE!"
Lol, there was a rather amused response from the room packed with teens.
"We're too young to understand that certain things are impossible, so we'll do them anyway" - Pitt, from the film 'Amazing Grace'
This clip was played to us in a Thirst for Justice seminar
Krish Kandiah talked in Thursday's evening celebration, he was talking about 'Heaven on Earth'. Here's a couple of quotes from him.
Talking about heaven
"It'll be like being at New Wine all the time except with better toilets and showers" - Krish
Telling us about when he asked his kids (aged 7/8) what they wanted to do in the future
"So I asked him and he said he wanted to be a doctor, so that he could help people for God, and I was like 'Yes, Theologically correct son!'" - Krish
From a Walk Through the Bible seminar
"Murder by donkey's jawbone" - Gav
Samson vs Philestines
Story of Samson and Delilah:
"So here's a lesson to you guys - Lying to girls is a bad idea" - Gav
Later on:
"Another lesson, Lying to a girl twice is a very bad idea" - Gav
"Fall in love? I'd rather fall in chocolate" - T-shirt
I didn't see it, it was a comment in a talk from a guy called Mark
Nicola and Claire got some really disgusting orange juice and were trying to get other people to drink some because they didn't want it - Viv said ok and these were her comments afterward:
"Are you sure this came from an orange?" - Viv
"No fruit were harmed in the making of this drink" - Viv
So yeah, that's all the quotes I had down in my little pretty note-taking book :)
Yay for New Wine!
"Some things in life go without saying, can you be one of those things?"
"If war breaks out I will trust the Lord" - On a guy's t-shirt (It's a verse from Psalms but not sure which)
After Viv got soaked in the rain before a seminar we were talking about pnemonia, and she told me about how her mum got pnemonia after being baptised...
"Welcome to eternal life, if you can make it through this one!" - Viv
"Never say Christianity's easy" - Viv
Lol.
"Don't hide behind Times New Roman" - On a rather cool 'Dialogue' t-shirt
See it here
Rather amusing trainee vicar - Paul from Bristol - did one of the evening talks, was v. good (as were all of them actually)... anyway, a couple of quotes from him:
"Go up north, have some naan bread" - Paul
Apparently the naan bread up north is huge and is lovely with curry
"Mark 1, 21 to 28; It'll be on the screen in case you lost your bible at the kebab van" - Paul
"You gotta love the bible, it does make me laugh sometimes" - Paul
... [Talking about the people following Jesus forgetting to eat - feeding of the 4000]
"3 days! I mean, I don't forget to eat in 3 hours let alone 3 days!" - Paul
"Akatharton Pneumaton"
Means 'unclean spirit' - Paul was very proud of having learnt this word so he told it to us and used it many times in his talk :P
"I don't know what you've come here for, I mean you could be coming to praise God or you could be coming to try and get a girlfriend or boyfriend. I mean some of you guys look like 'Yeah Paul, well, we've only got 2 hours left so if you could be quick' [us lot laughing]. But you know, the best girlfriend or boyfriend will be the one standing at the front, arms in the air, praising God, not the one you've seen sitting on everyone's laps down at the food court [more laughing/clapping/'whoo'ing]. So if you see someone who's praising God, going to seminars, writing notes, reading their bible, and all that; try and pull that person." - Paul
Won't be word for word but quite a lot is direct quotes I think (I tried) and the fill in bits are the right gist.
Note about this section - the talk - I did actually take more spiritual content in, lol, I just chose to put these up here as they amused me.
Kev from 29th chapter did a quick bit at the beginning of a talk - he was talking about love and how it's easy to love people of our own status, and the 'lovable' but what about others? Just a couple of bits he said - you'll get the gist.
"Let us be cosy - touch each other"
"It's nice, very nice"
"LOVE!"
Lol, there was a rather amused response from the room packed with teens.
"We're too young to understand that certain things are impossible, so we'll do them anyway" - Pitt, from the film 'Amazing Grace'
This clip was played to us in a Thirst for Justice seminar
Krish Kandiah talked in Thursday's evening celebration, he was talking about 'Heaven on Earth'. Here's a couple of quotes from him.
Talking about heaven
"It'll be like being at New Wine all the time except with better toilets and showers" - Krish
Telling us about when he asked his kids (aged 7/8) what they wanted to do in the future
"So I asked him and he said he wanted to be a doctor, so that he could help people for God, and I was like 'Yes, Theologically correct son!'" - Krish
From a Walk Through the Bible seminar
"Murder by donkey's jawbone" - Gav
Samson vs Philestines
Story of Samson and Delilah:
"So here's a lesson to you guys - Lying to girls is a bad idea" - Gav
Later on:
"Another lesson, Lying to a girl twice is a very bad idea" - Gav
"Fall in love? I'd rather fall in chocolate" - T-shirt
I didn't see it, it was a comment in a talk from a guy called Mark
Nicola and Claire got some really disgusting orange juice and were trying to get other people to drink some because they didn't want it - Viv said ok and these were her comments afterward:
"Are you sure this came from an orange?" - Viv
"No fruit were harmed in the making of this drink" - Viv
So yeah, that's all the quotes I had down in my little pretty note-taking book :)
Yay for New Wine!
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Various quotes...
Yeah, am now 'emptying' the back of my pukka pad and bits of my planner of their briefly scribbled quotations. But first, one that Carol quoted to me from something she saw on the internet somewhere (this is my current msn name):
"Make awkward sexual advances, not war"
Now on to the other stuff, starting from two where I know the dates...
23/06/08
"Pretzel" - Dan
"Oh, I didn't write that one" - Hazel
"What? You left out half our friendship!" - Dan
"If half our friendship was pretzels I don't think we had much of a friendship" - Hazel
I'd just been writing in Dan's leaving book and 'pretzel' is one of the things he attempts to rhyme with 'Hazel'
31/03/08
"I'm just a disnumerate maths teacher" - Mills
And a bunch where I don't know the dates (In the order of where they were in my diary and pukka pad):
Talking about silly class evaluation forms 'SPOC's (though we don't know what it stands for)
"Whoever makes these should be shot, or made to fill in SPOCs for the rest of their lives in a dungeon deep underground" - Franky
"*Reading from the SPOC* 'My teacher asks learners for their views on how it can improve the course, teaching and facilities'. So am I an 'it' now?" - Franky
"We're buggering off to University to get drunk" - Becky
Ah yes, the essence of university... ?
"It's bare confusing, like a multi-coloured bear; wow that's confusing" - Dan
I think it was more funny at the time...
"You look like someone from Chicken Run" - Hazel
"... I don't know how to respond to that" - Becky
Random comment in choir; she really did! It was the expression on her face, I'm not saying she looks like a cartoon chicken or anything. Yeah, another one of the 'you had to be there' moments.
"I'll give you this so you can thingy the doodah innit" - Franky
"He's about as creative as a bowl of cornflakes" - Franky, about Henry
"Sometimes I don't think you love us Chris" - Harry, talking to our maths teacher
"It should be 'u'" - Harry
"Yeah, but I don't like you" - Mills
"I'm going to miss a great deal; that's a whole hour of picking on Murray I'll miss!" - Mills
Next three quotes: Having a very random discussion in psychology about the possibility that Jesus has come back and is currently a small child, soon to grow up and change the world.
"He'll get his magic powers at 16, it's like Sabrina the teenage witch!" - Faye
"Even if this 'Jesus' was real, you're not a snail, so you don't have a point" - Faye
"He will in 2012 turn me into a snail" - Rai
(This whole conversation originated from Faye drawing Rai as a snail)
Part of John's sermon on one of the Sundays - talking about the ability to find your way places (and about sat navs)
"A great quote of mine, as Rosemary knows, is 'Don't worry dear, I'll get a feeling when we get there' ... and two hours late Rosemary says 'We do have a map'" - John P
"Sorry I'm late, I wasn't going to come in 'cause I was feeling ill" - Mary
"Ah! But you've recovered because you couldn't stay away from my charisma" - Alan
"I'm not going to stab anyone! If it's any crime it's going to be rape isn't it" - Joe
Talking about an offensive T-shirt Joe wore to college and our psych teacher started talking about how small things gradually become larger things until people stab each other and stuff.
Yeah, so hope you enjoyed the quotes, not sure when I'll next have any...
"Make awkward sexual advances, not war"
Now on to the other stuff, starting from two where I know the dates...
23/06/08
"Pretzel" - Dan
"Oh, I didn't write that one" - Hazel
"What? You left out half our friendship!" - Dan
"If half our friendship was pretzels I don't think we had much of a friendship" - Hazel
I'd just been writing in Dan's leaving book and 'pretzel' is one of the things he attempts to rhyme with 'Hazel'
31/03/08
"I'm just a disnumerate maths teacher" - Mills
And a bunch where I don't know the dates (In the order of where they were in my diary and pukka pad):
Talking about silly class evaluation forms 'SPOC's (though we don't know what it stands for)
"Whoever makes these should be shot, or made to fill in SPOCs for the rest of their lives in a dungeon deep underground" - Franky
"*Reading from the SPOC* 'My teacher asks learners for their views on how it can improve the course, teaching and facilities'. So am I an 'it' now?" - Franky
"We're buggering off to University to get drunk" - Becky
Ah yes, the essence of university... ?
"It's bare confusing, like a multi-coloured bear; wow that's confusing" - Dan
I think it was more funny at the time...
"You look like someone from Chicken Run" - Hazel
"... I don't know how to respond to that" - Becky
Random comment in choir; she really did! It was the expression on her face, I'm not saying she looks like a cartoon chicken or anything. Yeah, another one of the 'you had to be there' moments.
"I'll give you this so you can thingy the doodah innit" - Franky
"He's about as creative as a bowl of cornflakes" - Franky, about Henry
"Sometimes I don't think you love us Chris" - Harry, talking to our maths teacher
"It should be 'u'" - Harry
"Yeah, but I don't like you" - Mills
"I'm going to miss a great deal; that's a whole hour of picking on Murray I'll miss!" - Mills
Next three quotes: Having a very random discussion in psychology about the possibility that Jesus has come back and is currently a small child, soon to grow up and change the world.
"He'll get his magic powers at 16, it's like Sabrina the teenage witch!" - Faye
"Even if this 'Jesus' was real, you're not a snail, so you don't have a point" - Faye
"He will in 2012 turn me into a snail" - Rai
(This whole conversation originated from Faye drawing Rai as a snail)
Part of John's sermon on one of the Sundays - talking about the ability to find your way places (and about sat navs)
"A great quote of mine, as Rosemary knows, is 'Don't worry dear, I'll get a feeling when we get there' ... and two hours late Rosemary says 'We do have a map'" - John P
"Sorry I'm late, I wasn't going to come in 'cause I was feeling ill" - Mary
"Ah! But you've recovered because you couldn't stay away from my charisma" - Alan
"I'm not going to stab anyone! If it's any crime it's going to be rape isn't it" - Joe
Talking about an offensive T-shirt Joe wore to college and our psych teacher started talking about how small things gradually become larger things until people stab each other and stuff.
Yeah, so hope you enjoyed the quotes, not sure when I'll next have any...
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
10 things I hate about you
"I've been hearing a lot of complaints about you again. People are saying you're..." - Ms Perky
"Tempestuous?" - Kat
"'Heinous bitch' is the term used most often." - Ms Perky
"Sweating like a pig actually, and yourself?" - Kat
"Now there's a way to get a guy's attention, huh" - Patrick
"My mission in life, but obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked, the world makes sense again" - Kat
"You're not afraid of me are you?" - Patrick
"Afraid of you? Why would I be afraid of you?" - Kat
"Most people are" - Patrick
"Well I'm not" - Kat
"Well maybe you're not afraid of me but I bet you've thought about me naked, huh *winks*" - Patrick
"Am I that transparent? *sarcastic tone* I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby *rolls eyes*" - Kat
"What is it, asshole day?" - Kat
"And um, and here's another problem; Bianca said, that Kat likes, pretty guys" - Cameron
*tense moment of looking back and forth*
"*raises eyebrows and stands up* Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?" - Patrick
*talking over each other*:
"Yeah he's very pretty; he's a gorgeous guy" - Michael
"Yeah, I just wasn't sure, I didn't know *shrugs*" - Cameron
*Patrick relaxes and sits back again*
"This is so patronising" - Kat
"Leave it to you to use big words when you're smashed" - Patrick
"You don't care if I never wake up" - Kat
"*grins* Sure I do" - Patrick
"Why?" - Kat
"Because then I'd have to start taking out girls who actually like me" - Patrick
"Like you could find one" - Kat
"*still grinning* Oh see, that there; who needs affection when I have blind hatred?" - Patrick
"Tell me something true" - Kat
"I hate peas" - Patrick
"I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is" - Walter (Bianca/Kats' dad)
*Bianca makes a frustrated noise and stalks off*
"Where's your sister going?" - Walter
"She's meeting some bikers. Big ones. Full of sperm." - Kat
"It's not every day you find a girl who'll flash someone to get you out of detention" - Patrick
"You can't just buy me a guitar everytime you screw up you know" - Kat
"Yeah, I know... But then you know there's always drums, bass and maybe even one day a tambourine" - Patrick
*they grin*
Friday, April 25, 2008
Mainly History
A song taught to us by our History teacher Alan.
"Hitler, has only got one ball
Goering, has two but ve-ry small
Himmler, has something similar
But poor Goebbels, has no balls, at all"
A quote from Alan:
"That was the highlight of my year! The land league rappers." - Alan
Yeah, a couple of the guys in our class wrote a 'land league' rap when we were studying Ireland. It was actually quite good.
And below are some jokes told in Nazi Germany - From my 'Humour as resistance' sheet.
Some Nazis surround an old Jew and ask him who is responsible for the war. "The Jews" he answers, and then he adds "and the cyclists".
"Why the cyclists?" ask the puzzled Nazis.
"Why the Jews?" replies the old man.
Q: What is the difference between Chamberlain and Hitler?
A: Chamberlain takes his weekends in the country,but Hitler takes whole countries in a weekend.
An SS officer who has just arrested a Jew says to him, "I have one glass eye. If you guess correctly which it is, I'll let you go." To this the prisoner replies, "It is the left one."
"Correct!" exclaims the officer, "How did you manage to guess?"
"Oh," says the Jew, "your left eye has such a human, compassionate expression."
A Jew is arrested during the war, having been denounced for killing a Nazi at 10 pm and then eating the brain of his victim. This is his defence: in the first place a Nazi hasn't got any brain; secondly, a Jew doesn't eat anything that comes from a pig; and thirdly, he could not have killed the Nazi at 10 pm because at that time everybody listens to the BBC broadcast.
Nazis abbreviated everything, so some jokes used this practise to create new units of measurement.
'Hit' - the number of promises a man can make in a time-span of fourteen years without keeping any of them.
'Goer' - the maximum amount of tin a man can wear on his chest without falling flat on his face.
'Goeb' - the minimum amount of energy required to switch off 100,000 radio receivers simultaneously.
'Ley' - the maximum time during which a man can speak without saying a single sensible thing.
And lastly,
The ideal German:
As blond as Hitler, as tall as Goebbels, as slim as Goering, and as chaste as Röhm.
And one quote from the Dan and my three hours off today:
"Well, our coll- or rather, our school wasn't very encouraging" - Hazel
"Alcohol isn't very encouraging?" - Dan
I didn't even realise it sounded like I said that until he told me, lol
Thursday, April 17, 2008
27 dresses
Just remembered a couple of quotes from it that I liked:
"It's like finding out that your favourite love song was written about a sandwich" - Jane
"Love is patient, Love is kind, Love is slowly losing your mind" - Kevin
"It's like finding out that your favourite love song was written about a sandwich" - Jane
"Love is patient, Love is kind, Love is slowly losing your mind" - Kevin
Monday, March 24, 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Really old quotes
Unknown dates but one of them was dated 29/06/07 - these were written on the back of my refill pad.
"Be quiet Maxwell and his friends" - Kate
"We're not his friends" - Matt B
"That's straight and this is like you, bent!" - Mills?
I didn't write down who said this but I do believe that it was Mills talking to one or another of the guys in our class. It's the sort of comment he tends to make.
"I need the... um..." - Hazel
"-notes?" - Fahima
"Yeah" - Hazel
"Oh, um thingymabob's got them" - Fahima
"'kay" - Hazel
And I did know what she was talking about....
"Isn't Galileo one of the teenage muntant ninja turtles?" - Becky
"Students were revolting, literally" - Alan
This is not a general Alan-esque comment and I don't remember the context at all...
*Having a conversation about Dumbledore's death*
"What are you doing?" - Mills
"We're doing lots of maths and not talking about Harry Potter" - Greg
"Be quiet Maxwell and his friends" - Kate
"We're not his friends" - Matt B
"That's straight and this is like you, bent!" - Mills?
I didn't write down who said this but I do believe that it was Mills talking to one or another of the guys in our class. It's the sort of comment he tends to make.
"I need the... um..." - Hazel
"-notes?" - Fahima
"Yeah" - Hazel
"Oh, um thingymabob's got them" - Fahima
"'kay" - Hazel
And I did know what she was talking about....
"Isn't Galileo one of the teenage muntant ninja turtles?" - Becky
"Students were revolting, literally" - Alan
This is not a general Alan-esque comment and I don't remember the context at all...
*Having a conversation about Dumbledore's death*
"What are you doing?" - Mills
"We're doing lots of maths and not talking about Harry Potter" - Greg
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Quotes I found in my diary and pukka pad
Um yeah, probs from a while ago, I have dates for some of them... This is the problem with scribbling them down and forgetting the dates. Hmm.
"Happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat" - Anna (Julia Roberts), Notting Hill
Quotes with no date:
"So the Whig government was impotent; what does impotent mean?" - Alan
"Can't have babies?" - Nina
"Uh, well, technically yes... but not in this context" - Alan
Doing the course assessment thingy
"So, how can we improve History?" - Nina
"More singing" - Tom
"Alan dressed as a power ranger. The blue one." - James
"I have the attention of a goldfish today, a goldfish that is, um.." - Beki
"A dead goldfish?" - Hazel
"Yes, a dead goldfish." - Beki
14/02/08
"Joe, are you learning anything?" - Stephanie
"Yes, I'm learning hatred" - Joe
"Faye, are you learning anything?" - Stephanie
"Uh, yeah" - Faye
"She's learning my hatred" - Joe
"Yeah" - Faye
*Stephanie goes back to her typing*
Our teachers are so concerned about our learning...
13/02/08
"Right, I'm off, I'll see you tomorrow, it's a joy and a pleasure taking your money." - Franky (Art teacher)
06/02/08
Looking at a student-made 'Land league' poster
"So, what is that they're holding?" - Alan
"Torches and Pitchforks" - Tom
"And what are they going to do to him" - Alan
"... Sit down and have a civilised conversation?" - Tom
Loving it :P
"Don't forget, we work on the principle 'If Murray can do it, anyone can.'" - Mills
07/12/07
"This is the one topic where you can draw 'offensive' images and get away with it, so if you want to, feel free." - Substitute teacher
Human reproductive behaviour and sexual selection - Psychology.
21/11/07
"Imagine being raped to death, it would be so weird!" - Michael
"He only gets A grades because he distracts everyone else which brings the grade boundary down." - David, about Ed
"Happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat" - Anna (Julia Roberts), Notting Hill
Quotes with no date:
"So the Whig government was impotent; what does impotent mean?" - Alan
"Can't have babies?" - Nina
"Uh, well, technically yes... but not in this context" - Alan
Doing the course assessment thingy
"So, how can we improve History?" - Nina
"More singing" - Tom
"Alan dressed as a power ranger. The blue one." - James
"I have the attention of a goldfish today, a goldfish that is, um.." - Beki
"A dead goldfish?" - Hazel
"Yes, a dead goldfish." - Beki
14/02/08
"Joe, are you learning anything?" - Stephanie
"Yes, I'm learning hatred" - Joe
"Faye, are you learning anything?" - Stephanie
"Uh, yeah" - Faye
"She's learning my hatred" - Joe
"Yeah" - Faye
*Stephanie goes back to her typing*
Our teachers are so concerned about our learning...
13/02/08
"Right, I'm off, I'll see you tomorrow, it's a joy and a pleasure taking your money." - Franky (Art teacher)
06/02/08
Looking at a student-made 'Land league' poster
"So, what is that they're holding?" - Alan
"Torches and Pitchforks" - Tom
"And what are they going to do to him" - Alan
"... Sit down and have a civilised conversation?" - Tom
Loving it :P
"Don't forget, we work on the principle 'If Murray can do it, anyone can.'" - Mills
07/12/07
"This is the one topic where you can draw 'offensive' images and get away with it, so if you want to, feel free." - Substitute teacher
Human reproductive behaviour and sexual selection - Psychology.
21/11/07
"Imagine being raped to death, it would be so weird!" - Michael
"He only gets A grades because he distracts everyone else which brings the grade boundary down." - David, about Ed
Monday, January 28, 2008
Update :)
Stolen from Carol from someone called Anna :)
"It used to be that nouns had gender, and people had sex"
25/01/08
"So, I've got a torch. I just can't call anyone with my torch" - Dan
Referring to his phone which won't turn on/work for ringing people but decided to turn the flash on for a while.
13/01/08
"We were totally rofling" - Dan
"Waffling? Why were you waffling?" - Kat
"ROFLing, not waffling" - Dan
"Oooh" - Kat
And according to Dan I am to be called 'Waffle' from now on. Or something. *shrugs*
NB: I believe there have been some more of these 'You have so got to put that on your quotey site!' moments that I haven't recalled, so if you remember any, please do remind me. :)
"It used to be that nouns had gender, and people had sex"
25/01/08
"So, I've got a torch. I just can't call anyone with my torch" - Dan
Referring to his phone which won't turn on/work for ringing people but decided to turn the flash on for a while.
13/01/08
"We were totally rofling" - Dan
"Waffling? Why were you waffling?" - Kat
"ROFLing, not waffling" - Dan
"Oooh" - Kat
And according to Dan I am to be called 'Waffle' from now on. Or something. *shrugs*
NB: I believe there have been some more of these 'You have so got to put that on your quotey site!' moments that I haven't recalled, so if you remember any, please do remind me. :)
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