Mainly History

A song taught to us by our History teacher Alan.

"Hitler, has only got one ball

Goering, has two but ve-ry small

Himmler, has something similar

But poor Goebbels, has no balls, at all"

A quote from Alan:
"That was the highlight of my year! The land league rappers." - Alan
Yeah, a couple of the guys in our class wrote a 'land league' rap when we were studying Ireland. It was actually quite good.


And below are some jokes told in Nazi Germany - From my 'Humour as resistance' sheet.

Some Nazis surround an old Jew and ask him who is responsible for the war. "The Jews" he answers, and then he adds "and the cyclists".

"Why the cyclists?" ask the puzzled Nazis.

"Why the Jews?" replies the old man.

Q: What is the difference between Chamberlain and Hitler?

A: Chamberlain takes his weekends in the country,but Hitler takes whole countries in a weekend.

An SS officer who has just arrested a Jew says to him, "I have one glass eye. If you guess correctly which it is, I'll let you go." To this the prisoner replies, "It is the left one."

"Correct!" exclaims the officer, "How did you manage to guess?"

"Oh," says the Jew, "your left eye has such a human, compassionate expression."

A Jew is arrested during the war, having been denounced for killing a Nazi at 10 pm and then eating the brain of his victim. This is his defence: in the first place a Nazi hasn't got any brain; secondly, a Jew doesn't eat anything that comes from a pig; and thirdly, he could not have killed the Nazi at 10 pm because at that time everybody listens to the BBC broadcast.

Nazis abbreviated everything, so some jokes used this practise to create new units of measurement.

'Hit' - the number of promises a man can make in a time-span of fourteen years without keeping any of them.

'Goer' - the maximum amount of tin a man can wear on his chest without falling flat on his face.

'Goeb' - the minimum amount of energy required to switch off 100,000 radio receivers simultaneously.

'Ley' - the maximum time during which a man can speak without saying a single sensible thing.

And lastly,

The ideal German:

As blond as Hitler, as tall as Goebbels, as slim as Goering, and as chaste as Röhm.

And one quote from the Dan and my three hours off today:

"Well, our coll- or rather, our school wasn't very encouraging" - Hazel

"Alcohol isn't very encouraging?" - Dan

I didn't even realise it sounded like I said that until he told me, lol