Random...

These are various quotes that I had stored on my phone, I don't remember who said some of them though!

"I was weaseling" - ?
"What is that?" - ?
"It's not trying to catch weasels with your bare hands is it? 'Cause that would be awesome!" - Ali

"Yeah but Orlando Bloom is definitely gay" - Tim
"How do you know this? Did he hit on you?" - Naomi F

*Matt mumbles*
"What did you say?!" - Jess
"No... I want to keep my testicles." - Matt

"I'm taking my slippers off, it's getting serious now" - Matt

From Summer Events:

"If I wanted to get in the national papers, I would do something scandalous and unChristian." - Tom

"Unzip my genes" - on the back of a biology students' hoodie

"I could be your Boaz" - On a guy's t-shirt at Momentum

Grace. Amen.

Well, we've had a book of 'Pocket Graces' for rather a long time, but I came across it again yesterday, so thought I might put up some of the graces from it that particularly amused me :).

Graces for organisations:

The Army:
Thank you, Lord, for this Mess. Amen

The Navy:
No chaplain. Thank God. Amen.

Humourous Graces:

God bless this bunch as they munch their lunch.

For porridge and for buttered toast,
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

This is the day the Lord has made,
Thanks for the toast and marmalade.

For well-filled plate,
And brimming cup,
And freedom from the washing up.
We thank you, Lord. Amen.

Lord, as we begin this new day,
Help us not to be like porridge,
Stiff and stodgy and slow to stir,
But like cornflakes,
Crisp and light and ready to serve.

Thanks for breakfast, lunch and dinner,
If it weren't for you I'd be much thinner.

Graces by children:

Dear Lord Jesus, I'm sorry.
Sometimes I think about food too much. I dream of all the delicious things there are to eat when I really should be doing other things.
Please help me not to make food so important and help me not be greedy at meal times.
Amen.

Dear Father God,
Thank you for the food we eat, especially the chips and hot dogs.
Thank you for the hot dog man who makes them for me.
Amen.
- Ajay Jilka, aged 6

Dear God,
Thank you for the cheese and peanut butter and jam for my sandwiches.
- Adam Martin, aged 5

Thank you, God, for all our food.
Thank you for keeping the fishermen safe when they are at sea catching fish for my dinner.
Amen.
- Henry Miller, aged 6