Ah, Housemates

"The light was flickering so I punched it 'cause I thought it would help" - Matt

"You. You brought Prince Phillip into this!" - Harly, to Matt

"It's like having a dog, but it can speak back to you... you don't have to put a nappy on a dog." - Matt, on the topic of children

"All I really need is a hob and a toaster, I don't need a wife" - Matt
(admittedly, this sounds more sexist than it was in context)

"It's like the boy who cried wolf, but with toilet roll" - Matt

"I don't know how to make myself look more oriental" - Hazel
"Carry a dragon" - Harly

"I didn't say anything!" - Hazel
"I heard you with your tone of eyes" - Harly

"This is definitely a student house; I'm standing here eating bits of flapjack out of a bowl and you're eating a cucumber, one slice at a time." - Matt, to Hazel

Ah, listening.

"I am masculine! I have weights." - Matt
"Be honest, you're not masculine, Matt" - Harly
"I did some sewing last night" - Matt
"I don't think you're helping yourself" - Harly

"Are they married?"
"Yes, I'm pretty sure they are, if they're not, there's far too much kissing going on"

Overheard conversations

"Aww, I love you" - Guy
"I know" - Girl
"And... do you love me?" - Guy
"I said it earlier." - Girl

In the kitchenware section of IKEA
"OH LOOK, IT'S THERE!" - Guy 1
"Shh!" - Guy 2
"It's perfect!" - Guy 1
"It's just a tray, Stuart" - Guy 3

JLS!

"Oh, I keep forgetting I have knees" - Harly

"It's going to be a pass the parcel drinking game, but you can choose what you drink shots of, so those who don't want to get drunk can just get really hydrated" - Jess

"I thought the cards were in the pack but then I realised it was jelly" - Matt

"I can't count with my mittens on" - Matt

"They look like JLS!" - Jess, really loudly in the street, while pointing at 3 white guys walking past us
I'm guessing she meant the coloured tops, lol, they gave us a really weird look...

"Oh! Add water, not liquid nitrogen!" - Alex

Various Quotes I kept here and there...

"Snow is my favourite type of precipitation" - Matt

"How do blobs contribute to the sum of human happiness?" - Colin

"Hey you, sexy church, stop doing that" - Carol, paraphrasing Paul

"Do these onions taste juggled to you?" - Harly
As you can probably guess, we'd been juggling the onions...

"You have a sticker on you" - Jess

"Yes, I'm for general use" - Alex (tutor)

Someone decided to put the stickers from the machines on our tutors - another tutor was apparently 'for trained use only'.

From films:

“What’s her deal? – John Tucker
“I don’t know, I think maybe she’s not your type” - Scott
“Girl is my type” – John Tucker

“... All these squishy parents nowadays wanting to be friends with their kids. Kids don’t need more friends, they need old, scary people to intimidate them!” – Mr Stratford

Random...

These are various quotes that I had stored on my phone, I don't remember who said some of them though!

"I was weaseling" - ?
"What is that?" - ?
"It's not trying to catch weasels with your bare hands is it? 'Cause that would be awesome!" - Ali

"Yeah but Orlando Bloom is definitely gay" - Tim
"How do you know this? Did he hit on you?" - Naomi F

*Matt mumbles*
"What did you say?!" - Jess
"No... I want to keep my testicles." - Matt

"I'm taking my slippers off, it's getting serious now" - Matt

From Summer Events:

"If I wanted to get in the national papers, I would do something scandalous and unChristian." - Tom

"Unzip my genes" - on the back of a biology students' hoodie

"I could be your Boaz" - On a guy's t-shirt at Momentum

"I've kind of been taking all her roles" - Jonny
"Ham or cheese?" - Matt

"Duvets are a girl's best friend" - On Nai's jumper

"Doesn't he look like he should be in Harry Potter? He's a wizard, I know it." - Jess (about a guest speaker)

"My braincells are falling off the side of my head..." - Colin

"Just make sure you sign in on the floaty, floaty register thing" - Colin
Yay for floaty, floaty register things?

"Children are basically dangerous psychopaths that we change into human beings" - Gordon (lecturer)

Various...

Here are a few quotes that I had left on my phone...

"If I die, fill my coffin with cheesecake and cider" - Matt

"Big box, little box, cardboard fish" - Harly

"Who took that photo?" - Georgia
"A goat" - Matt

"I will break your hand with an axe!" - Tane, to Peter
He's only 6! Already threatening people about 9 times his age...


Also here are some quotes from the facebook page 'I hate it when you're with MC Hammer and he won't let you touch anything':

I hate it when you're with Lil Bow Wow and he keeps on asking you 'where my dog's at?'. Not only is it appalling grammar, he clearly isn't responsible enough to have pets!

I hate it when Madonna and Justin Timberlake are too busy standing on cars to save the world

I hate it when Bruce Springsteen dances in the dark and knocks things over. Idiot.

I hate that Aerosmith are constantly watching me because they don't want to miss a thing, it's unnerving.

I hate that I always find 50 Cent in da club. Does he even have a house to go home to?

I hate it when you're alone with Elvis and he's got a suspicious mind...

I hate the fact that Starship were given permission to build a city of rock and roll, it's just irresponsible.

I hate it when you're a weather man. Bewitched blame everything on you.

I hate being with No Doubt. They never let me speak.

I hate how One Republic hold a grudge. I said I'm sorry, ok?!

"Your floor is more hoovered than my floor" - Harly

"I can't believe I got cut by a duvet" - Harly

"This quiz is like the lottery, you have to pay a pound to play but you have to answer questions to get the money" - Matt