Derren Brown, Tim Minchin

"Stealing a tie from someone's neck is a useful skill when meeting a rival candidate just before a job interview" - Derren Brown

"I’m a pragmatist, I don’t take drugs, I like jogging, I’ve been mostly with one girl since I lost my virginity, I like my family, I don’t swear in front of kids or name my children Pizza." – Tim Minchin

"You’re allowed a luxury also to take to the island" - Kirsty Young
"... yeah, I assume lots of people say robotic sex doll" - Tim Minchin

A bit of TV/Radio/Film

“He was so rich he’d given his manners to a charity shop” – Sandi Toksvig, The News Quiz

"I get Guantanemo mixed up with guacamole" - Jeremy Hardy, The News Quiz

"Isn't it because you're from the professional show-biz cookery world and you want to keep telling us that it's a very special art when really cooking is just making food a bit hotter" – Frank Skinner to Gregg Wallace, Room 101

"Where's my coffee pot?" - Ally
"I broke it. If you were on Twitter you'd know that already." - Colin, What's Your Number?

"You are a cynical crapehanger who always sees the glass as half empty." - Sondra
"No, you're wrong, I see it half full but, of poison" - Sid, Scoop

"I think you’re wrong on that." - Hodges
"I’m sorry?" - Morgan
"Oh, don’t be sorry, just be wrong." - Hodges, CSI

The News Quiz - Series 76 Episode 3

"I have never been to an exercise class in my life, I find them repulsive and reprehensive, one should accept oneselves the way they are and have another pie" - Susan Calman

On the subject of why she doesn't use Twitter
"If I want people to know my innermost thoughts, there's nothing wrong with a megaphone in Waitrose" - Sandi Toksvig

I lack the profound intellect to think of a witty title?

"I lack the profound intellect to think of an enthralling screen name" - Anna's screen name

"Another pastime we enjoyed was Cluedo, the board game which looks at the lighter side of psychopathic serial killing" - Off "I'm sorry I haven't a clue"

December '06 (Off a youtube blog of Dan's which I didn't see til now)

"My parents walked up a hill, I just thought you should know that as they thought I should know that apparently"

"I put my keys in the fridge the other day, as you do, because I wanted to keep them fresh ... really it's because I had some kitchen foil left from the disaster with the chicken"
I really don't understand the logic... ? but it is sort of amusing.

"You should see my artisticness when I'm wrapping my christmas presents; they're... interesting. For anyone who recieves them, you now know why they look like *gestures awkwardly with hands* those hand gestures you just saw"

Good Times