"You really can't get away with swinging a baby nowadays" - Harly
"It's the kind of music I see myself dying to" - Julietta, on club music
Monday, January 23, 2012
Sunday, January 08, 2012
The News Quiz - Series 76 Episode 3
"I have never been to an exercise class in my life, I find them repulsive and reprehensive, one should accept oneselves the way they are and have another pie" - Susan Calman
On the subject of why she doesn't use Twitter
"If I want people to know my innermost thoughts, there's nothing wrong with a megaphone in Waitrose" - Sandi Toksvig
On the subject of why she doesn't use Twitter
"If I want people to know my innermost thoughts, there's nothing wrong with a megaphone in Waitrose" - Sandi Toksvig
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Christmas time
Commenting on the new branding of Hobbycraft
"It used to be like 'I am a graphic designer and this is a good art shop'. Now it's like 'here are some crafts for you to do, wife'." - Rachel
"Cardiff - it's like living under the sea" - Rachel
"Can you imagine me in 3D?" - Dan
"I like the way you're swaying, it's quite creepy." - Dan, to Hazel
"What are you doing?" - Dan
"You said I had to fix my glasses." - Hazel
"I never said you had to." - Dan
"You said you couldn't look at me!" - Hazel
"It fits, I'm fit, you're fit, let's go for it." - Dan's new motto for finding a boyfriend whose clothes he can wear
Things that caught my eye on Facebook
"I wear hoodies because I'm cold, not because I'm going to knife you."
"Do you know any good jokes about Sodium?"
"Na"
I find it hard to come up with titles for these posts unless all the quotes have a clear theme, so this time I put 'Christmas time' to refer to the time I collected the quotes, however, having done so I feel obliged to also put in some Christmas related things.
The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
"Bloody Christmas, here again, let us raise a loving cup, peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up." - Wendy Copes
"It used to be like 'I am a graphic designer and this is a good art shop'. Now it's like 'here are some crafts for you to do, wife'." - Rachel
"Cardiff - it's like living under the sea" - Rachel
"Can you imagine me in 3D?" - Dan
"I like the way you're swaying, it's quite creepy." - Dan, to Hazel
"What are you doing?" - Dan
"You said I had to fix my glasses." - Hazel
"I never said you had to." - Dan
"You said you couldn't look at me!" - Hazel
"It fits, I'm fit, you're fit, let's go for it." - Dan's new motto for finding a boyfriend whose clothes he can wear
Things that caught my eye on Facebook
"I wear hoodies because I'm cold, not because I'm going to knife you."
"Do you know any good jokes about Sodium?"
"Na"
I find it hard to come up with titles for these posts unless all the quotes have a clear theme, so this time I put 'Christmas time' to refer to the time I collected the quotes, however, having done so I feel obliged to also put in some Christmas related things.
The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
"Bloody Christmas, here again, let us raise a loving cup, peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up." - Wendy Copes
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Ah, listening.
"I am masculine! I have weights." - Matt
"Be honest, you're not masculine, Matt" - Harly
"I did some sewing last night" - Matt
"I don't think you're helping yourself" - Harly
"Are they married?"
"Yes, I'm pretty sure they are, if they're not, there's far too much kissing going on"
Overheard conversations
"Aww, I love you" - Guy
"I know" - Girl
"And... do you love me?" - Guy
"I said it earlier." - Girl
In the kitchenware section of IKEA
"OH LOOK, IT'S THERE!" - Guy 1
"Shh!" - Guy 2
"It's perfect!" - Guy 1
"It's just a tray, Stuart" - Guy 3
"Be honest, you're not masculine, Matt" - Harly
"I did some sewing last night" - Matt
"I don't think you're helping yourself" - Harly
"Are they married?"
"Yes, I'm pretty sure they are, if they're not, there's far too much kissing going on"
Overheard conversations
"Aww, I love you" - Guy
"I know" - Girl
"And... do you love me?" - Guy
"I said it earlier." - Girl
In the kitchenware section of IKEA
"OH LOOK, IT'S THERE!" - Guy 1
"Shh!" - Guy 2
"It's perfect!" - Guy 1
"It's just a tray, Stuart" - Guy 3
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Ten second songs
These are a few 'ten second songs' taken from Alessandra Rizzotti's blog, not quite sure why I came across it, I think it was a link from Facebook. Anyway, so I read it and picked out a few that I like. They're based on e-mails from her mother.
‘Sweaters’
Sweaters are warm/But not as warm as you/You’re as toasty as toast/Like a heater from Home Depot/Gosh, that’s cute that I said that because I love Home Depot, especially their curtains section
‘First Period. Hysterical’
First period/It was a mess/Don’t worry, I’m referring to an educational class I took in seventh grade/I believe it was mathematics
‘Purse’
Purse/I want an expensive one/Like one from Burberry/Don’t you have money to get me one?/Of course not/You have a low paying job/Why didn’t I ever force you to become an engineer?
‘Is The Cat Thing Going to Happen Or Are You Going to Let Me Down?’
Are we getting these cats or are you letting me down?/Don’t make me frown/I’m not in the mood/I just want a cat to squeeze/But not so that it bleeds…(because that would get messy and I’d need some carpet cleaner)
‘Sweaters’
Sweaters are warm/But not as warm as you/You’re as toasty as toast/Like a heater from Home Depot/Gosh, that’s cute that I said that because I love Home Depot, especially their curtains section
‘First Period. Hysterical’
First period/It was a mess/Don’t worry, I’m referring to an educational class I took in seventh grade/I believe it was mathematics
‘Purse’
Purse/I want an expensive one/Like one from Burberry/Don’t you have money to get me one?/Of course not/You have a low paying job/Why didn’t I ever force you to become an engineer?
‘Is The Cat Thing Going to Happen Or Are You Going to Let Me Down?’
Are we getting these cats or are you letting me down?/Don’t make me frown/I’m not in the mood/I just want a cat to squeeze/But not so that it bleeds…(because that would get messy and I’d need some carpet cleaner)
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
Facebook Groups
Just a couple of group names I found on Facebook that quite amused me
Leonardo DiCaprio never died in Titanic - the end scene of Titanic is of him going underwater. The beginning scene of Inception is him waking up on a beach. It's like a movie within a movie.
'I'm a ninja'
'No you're not'
'Did you see me do that?'
'Do what?'
'Exactly.'
Leonardo DiCaprio never died in Titanic - the end scene of Titanic is of him going underwater. The beginning scene of Inception is him waking up on a beach. It's like a movie within a movie.
'I'm a ninja'
'No you're not'
'Did you see me do that?'
'Do what?'
'Exactly.'
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Soul Survivor B 2011
As well as some amazing teaching and great worship there were many entertaining moments of Soul Survivor. I noted a few funny quotes down (mostly from Sanga's talks, so brilliant) which I thought I'd share here...
Talking about girls dreams vs boys dreams
"Batman, Spiderman, Superman - they weren't fantasies for us growing up. They were options." - Sanga
"That night I had enough testosterone in me to jump start a dead elephant. I wasn't Bambi, I was a wild stallion!" - Sanga
Talking about getting old
"Here we visit portaloos. There will come a day when we are a portaloo. At the moment, things work. One day, they'll drop off." - Crofty
"As the great philosopher Edmund Blackadder once said 'Life is like a broken pencil... pointless.'" - - Mike P
"When the bride comes down the aisle, I like to look at the groom, to see if he'll cry. In my church they nearly all cry 'cause they're a bunch of wimps." - Mike P
"You know, when boy meets girl, and girl meets testosterone." - Sanga
"You're going to see some images of Haman now... well that's not Haman, that's a goat." - Sanga
"My grandma used to call me daddy long legs ... I used to want to punch granny in the moustache" - Sanga
Talking about chat up lines
"You might have a Christian guy called Will, who goes up to a girl and says 'My name's Will... God's Will'" - Sanga
Sanga used the first of these quotes below in his talk, and I got distracted surfing the net and found some more I wanted to post, so these are quotes from kids about love and marriage
How would you make your marriage work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. - Ricky, 10
How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, 8
What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. - Craig, 9
When is it okay to kiss someone?
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. - Curt, 7
What's your best advice about love?
Don't forget your wife's name. That will mess up the love. - Erin, 8
Titles of Love Ballads You Can Sing To Your Loved One:
'I Love Hamburgers, I Like You!' - Eddie, 6
'You Are My Darling Even Though You Also Know My Sister.' - Larry, 8
'I Am In Love With You Most of the Time, But Don't Bother Me When I'm With My Friends.' - Bob, 9
'How Do I Love Thee When You're Always Picking Your Nose?' - Arnold, 10
'Hey, Baby, I Don't Like Girls, But I'm Willing To Forget You Are One!' - Will, 7
Talking about girls dreams vs boys dreams
"Batman, Spiderman, Superman - they weren't fantasies for us growing up. They were options." - Sanga
"That night I had enough testosterone in me to jump start a dead elephant. I wasn't Bambi, I was a wild stallion!" - Sanga
Talking about getting old
"Here we visit portaloos. There will come a day when we are a portaloo. At the moment, things work. One day, they'll drop off." - Crofty
"As the great philosopher Edmund Blackadder once said 'Life is like a broken pencil... pointless.'" - - Mike P
"When the bride comes down the aisle, I like to look at the groom, to see if he'll cry. In my church they nearly all cry 'cause they're a bunch of wimps." - Mike P
"You know, when boy meets girl, and girl meets testosterone." - Sanga
"You're going to see some images of Haman now... well that's not Haman, that's a goat." - Sanga
"My grandma used to call me daddy long legs ... I used to want to punch granny in the moustache" - Sanga
Talking about chat up lines
"You might have a Christian guy called Will, who goes up to a girl and says 'My name's Will... God's Will'" - Sanga
Sanga used the first of these quotes below in his talk, and I got distracted surfing the net and found some more I wanted to post, so these are quotes from kids about love and marriage
How would you make your marriage work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. - Ricky, 10
How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, 8
What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. - Craig, 9
When is it okay to kiss someone?
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. - Curt, 7
What's your best advice about love?
Don't forget your wife's name. That will mess up the love. - Erin, 8
Titles of Love Ballads You Can Sing To Your Loved One:
'I Love Hamburgers, I Like You!' - Eddie, 6
'You Are My Darling Even Though You Also Know My Sister.' - Larry, 8
'I Am In Love With You Most of the Time, But Don't Bother Me When I'm With My Friends.' - Bob, 9
'How Do I Love Thee When You're Always Picking Your Nose?' - Arnold, 10
'Hey, Baby, I Don't Like Girls, But I'm Willing To Forget You Are One!' - Will, 7
Friday, May 27, 2011
Toilet Door Quotes
There was a street art exhibition on near me recently and one of the things they exhibited was one of the female toilet doors from a local pub which had lots of things written on it, here are a couple of those things:
"I'm celebrating my love for you with a pint of beer and a new tattoo"
"I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."
"I'm celebrating my love for you with a pint of beer and a new tattoo"
"I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."
Saturday, February 19, 2011
New Layout
I thought it was time for a change, so finally updated the look of this blog, I like it very much :). I also found how to put the labels in the side bar so it's easier to navigate the quotes!
I may start to do only 1 quote per post (or divide them into the people) so that you don't come up with a massive post when you just wanted to find a quote by one person. I wouldn't go back and change previous posts - except perhaps the 'Random' ones which could do with a bit more specific labelling.
Hope you like it! :)
I may start to do only 1 quote per post (or divide them into the people) so that you don't come up with a massive post when you just wanted to find a quote by one person. I wouldn't go back and change previous posts - except perhaps the 'Random' ones which could do with a bit more specific labelling.
Hope you like it! :)
JLS!
"Oh, I keep forgetting I have knees" - Harly
"It's going to be a pass the parcel drinking game, but you can choose what you drink shots of, so those who don't want to get drunk can just get really hydrated" - Jess
"I thought the cards were in the pack but then I realised it was jelly" - Matt
"I can't count with my mittens on" - Matt
"They look like JLS!" - Jess, really loudly in the street, while pointing at 3 white guys walking past us
I'm guessing she meant the coloured tops, lol, they gave us a really weird look...
"Oh! Add water, not liquid nitrogen!" - Alex
"It's going to be a pass the parcel drinking game, but you can choose what you drink shots of, so those who don't want to get drunk can just get really hydrated" - Jess
"I thought the cards were in the pack but then I realised it was jelly" - Matt
"I can't count with my mittens on" - Matt
"They look like JLS!" - Jess, really loudly in the street, while pointing at 3 white guys walking past us
I'm guessing she meant the coloured tops, lol, they gave us a really weird look...
"Oh! Add water, not liquid nitrogen!" - Alex
Brigands M.C.
"'I'll remember that,' James nodded, as his attention turned back to his crêpe. 'So how did I do?'
'Good,' Martin said. 'It's a bit doughy in the middle because you used too much batter, and when we get a real customer I'd recommend more pleases and thank-yous and slightly less of the threatening to fry their face and shag their ex-girlfriend.'"
- From 'Brigands M.C.' by Robert Muchamore
'Good,' Martin said. 'It's a bit doughy in the middle because you used too much batter, and when we get a real customer I'd recommend more pleases and thank-yous and slightly less of the threatening to fry their face and shag their ex-girlfriend.'"
- From 'Brigands M.C.' by Robert Muchamore
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Various Quotes I kept here and there...
"Snow is my favourite type of precipitation" - Matt
"Hey you, sexy church, stop doing that" - Carol, paraphrasing Paul
"Do these onions taste juggled to you?" - Harly
As you can probably guess, we'd been juggling the onions...
"You have a sticker on you" - Jess
"Yes, I'm for general use" - Alex (tutor)
Someone decided to put the stickers from the machines on our tutors - another tutor was apparently 'for trained use only'.
From films:
“I don’t know, I think maybe she’s not your type” - Scott
“Girl is my type” – John Tucker
“... All these squishy parents nowadays wanting to be friends with their kids. Kids don’t need more friends, they need old, scary people to intimidate them!” – Mr Stratford
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Random...
These are various quotes that I had stored on my phone, I don't remember who said some of them though!
"I was weaseling" - ?
"What is that?" - ?
"It's not trying to catch weasels with your bare hands is it? 'Cause that would be awesome!" - Ali
"Yeah but Orlando Bloom is definitely gay" - Tim
"How do you know this? Did he hit on you?" - Naomi F
*Matt mumbles*
"What did you say?!" - Jess
"No... I want to keep my testicles." - Matt
"I'm taking my slippers off, it's getting serious now" - Matt
From Summer Events:
"If I wanted to get in the national papers, I would do something scandalous and unChristian." - Tom
"Unzip my genes" - on the back of a biology students' hoodie
"I could be your Boaz" - On a guy's t-shirt at Momentum
"I was weaseling" - ?
"What is that?" - ?
"It's not trying to catch weasels with your bare hands is it? 'Cause that would be awesome!" - Ali
"Yeah but Orlando Bloom is definitely gay" - Tim
"How do you know this? Did he hit on you?" - Naomi F
*Matt mumbles*
"What did you say?!" - Jess
"No... I want to keep my testicles." - Matt
"I'm taking my slippers off, it's getting serious now" - Matt
From Summer Events:
"If I wanted to get in the national papers, I would do something scandalous and unChristian." - Tom
"Unzip my genes" - on the back of a biology students' hoodie
"I could be your Boaz" - On a guy's t-shirt at Momentum
Friday, September 03, 2010
Grace. Amen.
Well, we've had a book of 'Pocket Graces' for rather a long time, but I came across it again yesterday, so thought I might put up some of the graces from it that particularly amused me :).
Graces for organisations:
The Army:
Thank you, Lord, for this Mess. Amen
The Navy:
No chaplain. Thank God. Amen.
Humourous Graces:
God bless this bunch as they munch their lunch.
For porridge and for buttered toast,
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
This is the day the Lord has made,
Thanks for the toast and marmalade.
For well-filled plate,
And brimming cup,
And freedom from the washing up.
We thank you, Lord. Amen.
Lord, as we begin this new day,
Help us not to be like porridge,
Stiff and stodgy and slow to stir,
But like cornflakes,
Crisp and light and ready to serve.
Thanks for breakfast, lunch and dinner,
If it weren't for you I'd be much thinner.
Graces by children:
Dear Lord Jesus, I'm sorry.
Sometimes I think about food too much. I dream of all the delicious things there are to eat when I really should be doing other things.
Please help me not to make food so important and help me not be greedy at meal times.
Amen.
Dear Father God,
Thank you for the food we eat, especially the chips and hot dogs.
Thank you for the hot dog man who makes them for me.
Amen.
- Ajay Jilka, aged 6
Dear God,
Thank you for the cheese and peanut butter and jam for my sandwiches.
- Adam Martin, aged 5
Thank you, God, for all our food.
Thank you for keeping the fishermen safe when they are at sea catching fish for my dinner.
Amen.
- Henry Miller, aged 6
Graces for organisations:
The Army:
Thank you, Lord, for this Mess. Amen
The Navy:
No chaplain. Thank God. Amen.
Humourous Graces:
God bless this bunch as they munch their lunch.
For porridge and for buttered toast,
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
This is the day the Lord has made,
Thanks for the toast and marmalade.
For well-filled plate,
And brimming cup,
And freedom from the washing up.
We thank you, Lord. Amen.
Lord, as we begin this new day,
Help us not to be like porridge,
Stiff and stodgy and slow to stir,
But like cornflakes,
Crisp and light and ready to serve.
Thanks for breakfast, lunch and dinner,
If it weren't for you I'd be much thinner.
Graces by children:
Dear Lord Jesus, I'm sorry.
Sometimes I think about food too much. I dream of all the delicious things there are to eat when I really should be doing other things.
Please help me not to make food so important and help me not be greedy at meal times.
Amen.
Dear Father God,
Thank you for the food we eat, especially the chips and hot dogs.
Thank you for the hot dog man who makes them for me.
Amen.
- Ajay Jilka, aged 6
Dear God,
Thank you for the cheese and peanut butter and jam for my sandwiches.
- Adam Martin, aged 5
Thank you, God, for all our food.
Thank you for keeping the fishermen safe when they are at sea catching fish for my dinner.
Amen.
- Henry Miller, aged 6
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Facebook group name...
"Dear A-levels, you are slowly destroying me as a person. I hope you're happy."
Also a comment made on this page:
"ahhhh screw everything. it's cider time :)"
Also a comment made on this page:
"ahhhh screw everything. it's cider time :)"
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
"He reminds me of mouldy cottage cheese that's gone angry..." - Jess, about Gordon Brown
From 'The Mentalist':
"I didn't go to high school, this is kind of fascinating" - Jane
"You never went to high school?" - Lisbon
"No, I was busy" - Jane
"I panicked, as soon as you said they were killed I knew you were gonna blame me, and my brain said 'just run'" - Suspect
"Your brain's a fool" - Cho
From 'The Mentalist':
"I didn't go to high school, this is kind of fascinating" - Jane
"You never went to high school?" - Lisbon
"No, I was busy" - Jane
"I panicked, as soon as you said they were killed I knew you were gonna blame me, and my brain said 'just run'" - Suspect
"Your brain's a fool" - Cho
Friday, April 30, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Berlin etc.
To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid
This was on a t-shirt someone was wearing in Berlin. I think I've come across the quote before, but thought I'd post it nonetheless :)
"Was he balancing it up his arm?" - Georgie
"Yeah" - Hazel
"Skinny and talented" - Georgie
"Hazel's living on the dark side!" - Sophie
"The dark side?" - Lucy
"I mean the wild side..." - Sophie
Commenting on crossing roads in Berlin, lol...
"A good friend is one who gets crab out of your hair for you" - Cat
"I didn't escape a fire to inhale more smoke, ok?"
I overhead someone say this when we were all standing outside uni (some people smoking) after the fire alarm went off (due to a smoke machine being used in the new media department...)
If you're not part of the solution you're part of the precipitate
I saw this on a t-shirt on the CU training weekend :P
This was on a t-shirt someone was wearing in Berlin. I think I've come across the quote before, but thought I'd post it nonetheless :)
"Was he balancing it up his arm?" - Georgie
"Yeah" - Hazel
"Skinny and talented" - Georgie
"Hazel's living on the dark side!" - Sophie
"The dark side?" - Lucy
"I mean the wild side..." - Sophie
Commenting on crossing roads in Berlin, lol...
"A good friend is one who gets crab out of your hair for you" - Cat
"I didn't escape a fire to inhale more smoke, ok?"
I overhead someone say this when we were all standing outside uni (some people smoking) after the fire alarm went off (due to a smoke machine being used in the new media department...)
If you're not part of the solution you're part of the precipitate
I saw this on a t-shirt on the CU training weekend :P
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)